Memories Never Fade
by Alex is Bills Kleiner Android
Summary: Ashley and Micha grew up together but things went really wrong.  Now Ash is head over heels in love with her... and he hasn't even seen her in 10 years.
1. Chapter 1

**Memories Never Fade**

The familiar hum of the heavy bus tires comforted Ash as he lay back. The alcohol was spreading through his system and the hum was working into his brain. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. Andy watched his band mate eyes worried waiting for the restlessness to start. Ashley wouldn't talk about it when he was awake but he had nightmares about someone… he talked a great deal in his sleep.

_ The grass was soft under young Ashley's legs as he leaned back. There was a girl next to him. She sat cross-legged. She was two years younger than him but he didn't notice. She was just Micha. They were twelve and ten and it seemed that forever stretched before them. The pair just sat there catching there breath from the game of tag they had just finished. Ashley watched Micha. He hadn't seen her in a real long time… _

_ The sun began to set and Ashley felt panic. He knew the next image wouldn't be so sweet…_

The sun was now low in the sky. Ashley found himself walking jauntily toward the end of his block. He was in high school now. He turned one last time to look back at the neighborhood he knew so well. His eyes latched on a form far behind him. Micha stood on the steps of her house a backpack over her shoulder and a coffee in hand. She looked so everyday to teenage Ashley that he rolled his eyes and began to turn away. The older Ashley inside his younger head fought this. He missed the fiery strawberry blonde curls, the flashing green eyes. He wanted to run up and once again feel the softness of her body in his arms. But this was a memory and he turned away. Ashley was forced to look at the way he had seen her. Hair to curly, waist to soft, chest to small, she wasn't hot, she wasn't popular. Ashley wanted to slap his teenage self. To redo history to run back and walk with her.

Now he was standing beside her at his pool. His was spraying her down with sunscreen. She was laughing at something he had said. It was nice to be with her again. Now that they were in different schools they didn't see each other as much. Yet summer was like it always was. Her mom and she practically lived with them. His mom came rushing out waving a paper excitedly. It was a class list… it wasn't his. It took him a moment… the name at the top Micha not Ashley. He turned to her eyes shocked. She flushed. He shook his head she wasn't skipping TWO grades… but apparently she was. His mom left again and he turned to her. She wasn't looking at him. Now he knew that she was sad, she hadn't told him, she knew he didn't want he around his friends. She was an embarrassment.

"I know better than to talk to you Ash. I know you have cool friends. I'm in honors anyway. You wont even notice." She turned and started toward the pool. Ashley felt his heart splitting. This moment, this moment he destroyed everything… but his teenage self opened his stupid mouth.

"Thank god, they would never let me live it down if they saw me with you. At school, we don't know each other."

Ashley slid from that memory to another one an even worse one. Micha stood in front of him. She hadn't been in the sun lately, her hair and darkened to a rich mahogany. She was dressed in torn jeans and a tshirt that said Jenius. Her face was covered in perfectly done makeup and her green eyes were cold as jewels.

"Waiting for the sunscreen to go on sale?" he asked noting that there were only two cans in the cupboard.

"No, I'm going to camp in a few days." Ashley blanked. A summer without Micha was like… a life without color. He managed to keep her away from his bastard friends and groupies at school but summer was his time with her.

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand Ashley." His heart skipped, she never called him Ashley, "it's a place where I can be smart and get away from idiots." She turned on her heel and walked out to the deck. Ashley stood frozen as the realization of what the school year had done hit him.

The worse memory had yet to come. Now it flashed bright and vivid into his minds eye. Micha was unconscious on the hospital bed he sat next to. Her usually moon pale skin was a horribly livid red and monstrously blistered. Terror racked him as he watched her. Pain seared throw him. This was his fault. The girl he had been sleeping with had been mocking Micha for her pale skin and her inability to have Ash. Now Micha was in the hospital with third degree sunburn. Ashley sat there for 2 days waiting for her to awake. Terror and guilt racked him for those long, long hours.

He slid with relief into yet another memory. She was leaving. She had skipped yet another grade and was leaving for college a year before him. Her face was blank as she helped her new friend into her truck and she herself jumped up. Ashley had to restrain himself from running after her and grabbing her and kissing her. He wanted to have her in his arms more than he wanted anything but she had moved on and he had to let her.

Ashley awoke with a ragged gasp. He kicked himself out of bed and went to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and a package of cigarettes and went to the back of the bus. He stuck his head out the window letting the cold hair sting his face. He inhaled the smoke of the cigarette as he opened the alcohol. He tried to relax, he tried to force old memories away… those memories were more than 10 years old. He had only gotten a swig down before Andy was walking into the room. Ashley glared at the man.

"Ash…" Andy started.

"No Andy."

"Look, we all have fucked up pasts it's why we are outcasts. You know all of our stories. Tell me yours. Let it out of your head."

"Andy… when I was in high school I was one of those douche bags," he said staring above Andy's heads. Andy nodded. The whole band knew that. Ashley had been bullied in middle school so bad that the summer before he went to high school he bulked up and started being like everyone else. After a long silence Andy spoke.

"Whose Micha?"

"WHAT!" Ashley said horrified.

"You talk in your sleep." Andy said simply.

"Micha is…" Ashley shook his head, "I don't want to talk about her."

"Ashley her memory is fucking with your head. You aren't the same guy anymore. You need to tell me before it starts to effect the music." There was a long silence before Ashley spoke again.

"My mother's best friend lived next door. Her husband and my father had the same job for alternating times of year, when he was home dad was gone. So the women were always in the house where the men were gone. She had a daughter, she was two years younger than me and her name was Micha."

Andy sighed inwardly. Best friend crushes/loves were always the hardest.

"She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. We grew up together. When we were little we used to run around in the back yards and splash around the pools together. I remember coating her in sunscreen every hour or so. Her mother was crazy about it… she was so fair skinned, it was like the moon." There was a wistful quality to his words. "Even when I started school before her she would cling to my legs when I left and tackle me when I came home. She was a genius. She ended up graduating the year before me. She used to have the most beautiful strawberry blonde hair all summer from the sun and by Christmas it would be the color of rich mahogany… We went to school together. We even went through middle school together. Everyone thought we were freaks. It was hard but we always had each other, always. When I went to high school I changed myself to be like all the other boys. I was ashamed of it. I tried to hide it from her... I just ended up forcing her away."

"That summer she went to a camp for a week and it was the longest I'd ever gone without seeing her. I started realizing how much I relied on her. Being without her was like living in a world without color. I had nothing to do but sit there and think about how I'd been pushing her away about how I was going to continue pushing her away. I started drinking then, I was trying to forget."

"That's when I got the news… she was skipping up a couple grades. Now she was in MY grade. She was going to be in school with me. I was horrified, I felt like my life was colliding. My sweet friend couldn't be caught in the psychotic trap of my school life. I ended up shunning her. I had no other way to keep her away. I didn't want her near them… I was ashamed of her just as much as I wanted to keep her safe from them. That summer showed up and she left for 2 months. I realized just how bad I had fucked up. She started calling me Ashley when we were forced together and never talked to me other wise. It took me forever to figure out that she'd been in love with me just like I had with her and that I'd broken her heart."

"She skipped Junior year as well. She was a senior and I was a junior. The guys I was hanging out with started to notice her. They thought she was hot. They wanted to take her to prom. So I ended up asking her because I knew that I wouldn't force her into anything that they would. It was so awkward. We danced and I got drunk, she slapped me, ditched me and ran off. I found out later she spent the rest of the night crying on the phone with her new best friend. She graduated and took off for MIT. I haven't seen her since"

"In many ways high school sucked even more than middle school. I was utterly alone. I realized senior year that it didn't matter what all these retards thought of me. I started using and smoking as well as drinking. I couldn't forgive myself because I'd let the only REAL friend I had ever had go because I wanted to be liked by everyone else. I started realizing how badly I had hurt her as I felt the sting of her rejection."

"You just thought she was your friend Ash how were you supposed to know that she was in love with you?" Andy asked quietly.

"When we were sophomores she almost died because of me. I was dating this girl who was tan, blonde, and had massive fake tits. She saw me talking to Micha after school one day because she was driving to her friend's house in my neighborhood. I told her Micha was like my little sister who made sure I didn't fail high school but she wouldn't leave her alone. I didn't know how much it messed with Micha's head until she ended up in the hospital. She spent all day in the pool without any sunscreen… probably trying to get tan like the other girls. She spent two days unconscious with 3rd degree sun burn. It was the most terrifying experience of my life. I broke up with that bitch but I was too stupid to change how I treated Micha. If anything I pushed her away farther because I had proof of what my life could do to her." Ashley buried his face in his hands for a moment.

"I went off to college because that's what everyone including Micha wanted. I started looking for a band. I let it consume my life because it was easier than thinking about what had passed. Life was so busy until lately that I barely had time to think about it. Now I can't get her out of my head. It's so lonely being out on the road all the time and I find myself wishing I would wake-up and we would just be little kids passed out on her living room floor."

"Ashley…" Andy said, "why don't you just go find her?"

"I already fucked up her life once Andy I should at least leave her to what she has."

"Did you ever think that maybe she is still in love with you?"

"I haven't even seen her in ten years. She gorgeous, smart, funny, she's got everything. She's probably married by now."

"I think you should go see her. I think it would help you. Even if she was married and all that then you would know she was happy and if she wasn't I have yet to meet a women who would turn you down."

"She would hate what I am now. She hates drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, promiscuity, all of it."

"I still think you should find her."

"Forget it Andy, I shouldn't have said anything." He walked back into the bus and lay down on his bunk his mind's eye full of images of the laughing child he had known so well. He couldn't believe he had told Andy all of it. Andy obviously didn't understand though, Ashley didn't expect him to. He hadn't told Andy half of the story. He hadn't told him how cruel he had been, how hurt she had been, how much she had seemed to hate him in those last few days.

Andy watched Ashley sadly. He waited till the man was asleep than snuck over and found his laptop. Silently Andy opened it and logged on. He started digging through Ashley's contacts… she had to be here somewhere.


	2. Chapter 2

**Memories Never Fade**

It was a month before Andy got a day off and Ashley wasn't doing any better. In fact he seemed to keep drinking more. Andy was quite sure how the man wasn't a pickle inside yet. He woke up at six thirty in the morning threw on jeans and a vest before teasing his hair with his hands running on some quick eyeliner grabbing his keys and heading out the door. It was an hour drive to Micha's house but if she could get Ash out of his shit it would be more than worth it.

The house was small and white with black trim. He could see lights on and hear sounds from inside. He had read an email from Ash's mom saying that she had started playing soccer again and usually left the house before eight. He strode up the neat sidewalk to the crimson door. He smiled at it. He knocked. He had been thinking about what he would tell her but he still didn't really have a clue. He had to admit that part of this was curiosity over what sort of girl could whip the famous Ashley Purdy so badly.

The door flew open and Andy was very glad it opened in. He blinked. He realized he had forgotten that Ashley had in fact known the CHILD Micha… the woman in front of him was very much NOT a child.

"Do I know you?" Her voice was deep for a women's. It was strong and confident. He looked at her shocked for a second. He could see why she would be terribly hard to forget.

"Are you Micha?" he asked kind of hoping he had the wrong girl. This one was slightly frightening.

"I am. Now who are you?" Her emerald eyes frosted like sun on ice.

"My name is Andrew and I'm the lead singer in Ashley Purdy's band." He said. He refused to be intimidated by this girl. She froze for a second.

"Ashley sent you did he?" her voice had reached a level of frosty that would make glaciers jealous.

"No. He doesn't know I'm here. If he did he would murder me."

"So why are you here?" she demanded.

"HOLY SHIT!" a female voice shrieked from inside the house.

"I guess you had best come in," she said before turning and striding away, "If you set the house on fire I will eviscerate you!" she hollered. Andy followed her allowing himself to look her over.

She was quite tall for a girl probably 5'9 or 5'10. She had veritable mane of rich mahogany curls just as Ash had said. Her skin was paler than Andy had expected, he was sure Ashley had been exaggerating but it seemed he hadn't. The girl was pale enough her veins showed through. She was dressed in black and grey camouflage spandex and a fitted black tank top. Her arms and legs were smooth and muscular but not in a freakish body-builder way. She walked confidently with a smooth and almost predatory stride. He had to force most of his thoughts about her body to the back of his head or he would have an FP situation but she had curves any girl would murder for. He shook his head… maybe Ashley wasn't insane for being head over heels for her.

She strode across the kitchen and bootie bumped the slender girl who was at the stove away from it. Andy stared at her… she was almost equally as frightening for very different reasons. Her hair was heavily layered and though it was a deep honey brown it reminded him of his own. She had golden skin and held herself as if she was frightened of attack and yet as if she was inwardly absorbed. She had a slender form, probably no larger than a size 2 and probably only a b or c but her waist was tiny. He had to fight the compulsion to wrap his hands around her waist to see if he could reach all the way around. He was worried she would stab him, with what he wasn't quite sure but she kind of reminded him of a serial killer.

He shook his head he wasn't used to feeling so intimidated. Though admittedly a confident female was more frightening than almost any man. A confident girl was a challenge. Men you could just punch. He shook his head but couldn't help but watch her as she went to the cupboard and began to make coffee.

"What kind do you want?" she said without turning around. Andy was mildly confused about this question but before he could answer Micha spoke sharply.

"He's a rock star whose up at 7:45 in the morning give him the strong shit." Andy smiled. The woman knew how to be hospitable at least.

"How would you like your coffee?" The girl asked as she walked to the fridge.

"Black," Andy said under the assumption that they wouldn't put alcohol in it for him. He then watched in amazement as she pulled out a selection of coffee mates that would make some coffee shops jealous. He was busy watching her mix three separate cups of coffee to notice what was going at the stove. Suddenly the smell of a fresh cooked breakfast hit him in the face and he turned his eyes wide. Micha was flipping perfectly golden pancakes onto a plate with one hand while absently scrambling eggs with the other. Andy just kind of blanked for a minute… he was pretty sure he had just walked into heaven. Two beautiful, if frightening women, were making breakfast in shorts and tank tops… he was definitely asleep.

"You better eat some of that food or she'll never forgive you." The girl with golden hair whispered as she laid out plates and utensils. Andy nodded eyes still locked onto the food as the girl added coffee to the table then went and fetched the plates of hot food. By the time Micha sat down at the table there were pancakes, hash-browns, eggs, toast, and bacon on the table. Everyone attacked the food. Andy was mildly surprised. Then he reminded himself that his experience of late with girls were fans or whores trying to get in his pants… not normal females.

"Andy this is Carmen, Carmen this is Andy he's in Ashley's band." At the mention of Ashley's name Carmen's already closed face became practically hostile. Andy wasn't quite sure what exactly he had dragged himself into with this one. Just then the phone rang and Micha bounded away from the table to get it.

"Why are you here?" Carmen demanded turning her golden-honey eyes on him.

"Ash is all torn up over Micha and I want her to come see if she can help him."

"No." Carmen said. Her voice left no room for denial.

"Please, he feels terrible about what he did. He's slowly killing himself over this. Our band needs him to be better, the fans need him to be better."

"What if I don't care about him or them or you?" Carmen demanded.

"Then I don't know what to say because we need him. He hates himself for what he did."

"He should."

"He knows that. He doesn't even know I'm here. He would probably murder me for intruding on her life."

"Seems like one of you has things straight." She muttered.

"Please Carmen, I don't think she will come if you don't agree."

"What right do you have to come in here and fuck up everything she has put together over the years?"

"I'm not asking her to come live with him or anything. I think if she could just tell him that she forgives him it would help."

"DO you have any idea how badly he hurt her? Why the hell would I let you put her back through all those memories?" Carmen's eyes were blazing. Micha had dug her out of an arranged marriage as well as a bunch of other shit and the whole time she had been a huge wreck over Ashley Purdy. Carmen was not going to let her best friend go back to that dark place.

"Look, I don't want her to date him or ANYTHING. I think just seeing her and knowing she's happy would help. You can come. You can stand there and make sure they don't do anything for all I care… he just needs… Something."

Just then Micha walked back into the room. Her eyebrows were raised as she took in the sight before her. Andy was in his chair leaning forward eyes shining. Carmen had stood up and her hands were on the table he cold eyes flashing with fury.

"Can't we have a civil breakfast?" Micha asked sadly. "I get one day off and I get THIS."

"Sorry Micha." Carmen said immediately moving to wrap her arms around the other girls torso. Micha hugged her back looking over her head at Andy.

"I assume this has something to do with the reason for your visit." She said running her hand comfortingly over her friends hair.

"It does." Andy said his voice husky.

"What about it?" she said her eyes frosty.

"I want you to go see Ash." There was a long silence. Micha was completely frozen, Andy was pretty sure she wasn't breathing.

"Why?" she said quietly.

"I think this is a bad idea," Carmen said. Micha ran a hand distractedly over her hair again.

"Hush Love." Her green eyes were intense on Andy.

"He…" Andy felt as if her eyes were burning into his soul. He saw that she felt for Ashley just as intensely as Ash felt for her, "he's not doing very well and I think it would help if you talked to him."

"I haven't seen Ashley in more than ten years, surely you all can help him more than I."

"He… he's still in love with you."

"Ashley never loved me." She said her voice cold, "Ashley likes women for sex. If that's all you wanted to talk about then you may leave. I cannot help you." She said.

"Please. He's dying inside. It's killing our band. It's hurting our fans. Please… just tell him you forgave him… that's all I ask."

"And if I didn't forgive him?"

"I think you did." Andy said looking into her eyes. She loved Ashley and he could see it. He could also see that Ash had ripped her heart into pieces and her self preservation instincts were strong.

"Fine. Give me an hour." She turned and headed into the hallway. Andy collapsed into the chair and grabbed the coffee. He realized he was shaking. He was so not used to dealing things like this that he felt like he had just been punched in the gut. Carmen sent him a death glare before bolting after Micha.

Less than an hour later the girls emerged in the kitchen. Andy had to grab the table to keep from tumbling from the chair. They had clearly used to the time to shower and change.

Andy couldn't help but look at Carmen first. Her hair had been pulled into a tight French braid with her bangs and face frame falling shaggily around her face. She was wearing a face powder that stripped her skin of its golden hue and her eyes had been painted in a beautiful smoky eye. Her lips were black as was the lace headband over her golden hair. Her leggings were grey and so were her coverse. Her shorts were black denim and her long sleeved black shirt was a nightmare before Christmas. Andy never would have pulled this look out of a hat for her. However the most interesting thing she was wearing was a long chain necklace… with a Buddha at the bottom.

"Are you Buddhist?" Andy asked amazed.

"Don't miss much do you?" she said her voice still frosty.

"Children play nice," Micha said and Andy turned his attention to her. He almost whistled. She was wearing 5 inch patten-leather red peek toed pumps. Her legs were sheathed in lace up to a short black skirt with chains and a cross hanging from the side. She wore a red tank top under a lace sheer long-sleeved shirt under a jean vest. The vest was only done up to just under her chest which forced all attention to her the crimson cloth covering her chest. He shook his head and looked at her face as he got to his feet. Her lips were full, pouty, and crimson. Her flashing green eyes were lined in a glittery-black liner and a large glitter skull held her hair in a half up.

He shook his head as she grabbed her keys and headed out Carmen and Andy following. Andy let out a whistle as he noticed the truck in the driveway. He had been to distracted to notice it. It was a black monster with lots of chrome and massive wheels. He watched Carmen spider monkey her way up and Micha swing her way up gracefully. He shook his head and got in his own car. he had no idea what was going to happen when Micha and Ash saw each other again but he was sure it was going to be big… she just hoped no one ended up in the hospital. As soon as he made it to the highway he called Jinxx and told him to have the band meet him in the parking lot in an hour and to make sure they all were dressed and not to badly wasted.

Micha had a white knuckle grip on the wheel. Her mind was whirring. She was trying to ignore what Andy had said. Ashley didn't love her, if Ashley had loved her he had had his whole life to tell her. Carmen sat looking furious. Her golden eyes were practically glowing with contained rage. She knew full well that there was one person in the world who could make Micha ignore all common sense and advice… his name was Ashley Purdy. Carmen also knew that Ashley was a man whore who liked to get drunk. Micha DESPISED people like that. Carmen was furious, Micha and she were transferring in the fall to MSU to get there second P.H.D., neither Ashley nor Andy had any right to step in and fuck with this. Carmen leaned back. She was so tired of life sometimes. Every time Micha and she got things back together SOMETHING fucked it up. She turned her head and glared out the window.


	3. Chapter 3

**Memories Never Fade**

"Why the fuck am I awake right now?" Ashley grumbled as he walked out of the bus toward the parking lot.

"Because our singer is a psycho," C.C. said also not happy with the fact it was 10 in the morning. The guys were dressed as usual but the hair and makeup had been toned down. They lounged by the edge of the parking lot until they saw Andy's car slide into the lot. He hopped out of the car and waved them over. They were walking over when a massive black truck pulled into lot.

"We have visitors." Andy said his deep voice full of amusement. The doors were thrown open and two pairs of feet became visible.

"Girls?" Jake said shaking his head.

"We really have enough of those walking around." Jinxx informed the singer.

"Just wait." The first door closed and a girl dressed in shades of grey from head to toe appeared she gave them all a death glare and turned to walk around the truck to the other door. Ash's eyes narrowed there was something familiar about this girl. Before he could figure it out the second door closed. His heart stopped, his breath stopped, the world stopped. C.C. was closest to Ash and he spun around.

"Ash man are you okay?" he said. Ashley's eyes were wide. C.C. spun back to Andy about to demand what happened when he caught site of the girl by the truck. Her curly hair was blowing around her. Her hand was on her truck and she had her whole body frozen in a picture of serenity as her eyes, wide and frightened, were locked on Ashley. The entire band watched waiting for one of them to take a breath, to move, to react in some way. Ashley let out his breath and stepped around the band so that there was only pavement between Micha and himself. Micha did not move. She stood waiting for Ashley to make the first move, just as she always had.

Ash was unsure of what to do in that moment. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go. He had no idea how she would react to that. He paused frozen in time for a moment. Then he held open his arms. Inwardly he was praying that she would come to him. He wasn't sure he could handle her rejection… not that he didn't deserve it.

There was a long pause then Micha hurled herself into his arms. Her legs were wrapped around his waist. He wrapped his strong tattooed arms around her. He buried his face her silky hair. She had her face pressed into his neck. She clung to him like he could save her from the apocalypse. He breathed in the sweet and spicy sent that was hers and only hers. He felt the heat of her body warming his own. He hugged her even closer. He remembered the insane warmth of her skin but memories had nothing on the real thing. Micha clung to him. His arms were warm and comforting. She was pretty sure she hadn't felt this safe in a very long time.

After about a minute she let go. She took a step back and started coughing. As much as she wanted to never let go of Ashley she had to. Ashley, and the rest of the guys, smelled, terribly. Her eyes were watering.

"When was the last time you guys showered?" she asked once she had managed to stop coughing.

"A few days," Jake said.

"That is disgusting," Carmen said stepping up to her friend's side.

"Are you sure it's only been a few days?" The smell of sweat, alcohol, sex, and cigarettes was threatening to choke Micha. The boys all sniffed themselves self consciously… they couldn't smell it. Ashley stepped away from the band and motioned for Micha to follow him. Micha did. The rest of the band and Carmen watched them go.

Micha followed Ashley. She wondered where he was taking her but didn't ask. She trusted him… she always had. He lead her to a small, empty, picnic area. Ash leaned against a tree and Micha hopped onto the picnic table sitting cross-legged. Ash smiled at that, she was bad at being girly. He watched her for a minute. She was so very different from the version of her he remembered and yet the same. He wished that it was summer if only so that he could see her strawberry blonde hair blowing around her. He looked at her. She was gorgeous, she had always been gorgeous, but age had leant her confidence and maturity that made her down right sexy.

Micha leaned back. She examined Ashley from under her half closed eyes. Quite frankly he looked like shit. She really wanted to jump his slender, muscular, tan self but she knew there were some things that needed to be talked about first. She could smell the boos on Ash from here. She also knew that if she got a little closer she would smell sweat, cigarettes, and sex. She closed her eyes briefly. Ashley had always liked to play around with the ladies. She let herself admire him for a moment… it was a lot different looking at him now that they were 'all grown up'.

Ashley was watching Micha and realized that she was effectively checking him out. He shook his head, it was so odd to have things anything like this between them. He couldn't say Micha was alone in this new found attraction however. He kind of really wanted to fuck her right then but he knew they had shit to work out first. He would never forgive himself if he gave up this second chance.

"Micha we need to talk," he said.

"Ashley you're drunk."

"No," he said which was mostly true, "I'm relaxed." Her eyes were sad in that moment.

"You need alcohol to relax?" she said her voice soft and sad. She looked so much more like the old Micha in that moment. The new predatory look was gone and the soft caring side shone through… Ash was still waiting for the mischievous grin he knew so well.

"Yes," he hung his head, "I took me so long to realize what I did to you. Once I figured out what I had done I hated myself."

"You can't hate yourself," she said getting up and walking towards him, "I could never live with myself if you destroyed yourself over me. That's why I'm here."

"I missed you so much," Ashley felt the hot tears he had fought for so long well up and spill.

"I missed you too," she put a finger against his cheek and brushed away his tears.

"I was so, so stupid. I just wanted to not be hurt anymore that I destroyed the one relationship that ever really meant anything." He grabbed her hands, "you're the only one that EVER really mattered to me."

"I love you to Ashes." She said a small smile crossing her lips. Then Ashley did something he'd wanted to do since 7th grade. He kissed her. She tasted like chocolate, mint, and coffee. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back with a ferocity that surprised him. She didn't care that he tasted of cigarettes and alcohol, even if it was absolutely disgusting. Ash pulled back for a second.

"Micha," he breathed.

"Shut the fuck up and kiss me," she said pressing their lips together again.

* * *

><p>Carmen sat and tried to ignore the stupid men around her. Andy was explaining to them what was going on. Carmen rolled her eyes. Ashley wouldn't even tell his own band members about Micha.. he must of cared a shit ton about her.<p>

"Carmen," Andy said. Carmen turned cool golden eyes to him, "I'm going to go see if I can find Ash and Micha and make sure they are both still alive, wanna come?"

"Sure," Carmen followed him. She tried to stop herself from staring at him but really, he was damn sexy. She followed him towards… somewhere. She looked around and saw nobody around them. She paused, Micha could survive another minute. "Hey Andy."

"Yea?" he said turning around. He had about half a second to react before she was kissing him feircly. Andy wrapped an arm around her waist and twisted his other hand in her hair. After about two minutes Carmen pushed Andy back.

"We were looking for Micha and Ash?" she said.

"Uhm, yea." Andy said. His mind was turning in circles. Andy stared at Carmen, her lipstick was still perfectly done.

"Are we going?" she asked him.

"Oh, yea, the bus is this way." He said. Carmen laughed as she realized that neither she nor Andy had any intention of looking for their friends. After a few seconds she leapt up onto his back.

"You're pretty clever for a rock star," she whispered in his ear.

"You're pretty sexy for a nerd," he responded.

"Guess we go together pretty well."

* * *

><p>Jake, Jinxx, and C.C. stood in the parking lot. They all exchanged looks.<p>

"Who thinks they actually went to look for the other two?" Jinxx asked C.C. and Jake both shook their heads.

"I'm trying to decide whether the brunette is going to fuck Ashley or Kill him." Jake said.

"Maybe a little bit of both," C.C. suggested.

"How long do you think she'll last?" Jake mused.

"If it's the girl he's been talking about in his sleep she'll be around for a while." Jinxx said wisely.

"Why do you say that?" C.C. said.

"Because she already has him whipped," Jake said laughing.

"Let's go get a beer," C.C. suggested.

"I'm in." Jake and Jinxx said at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

Ashley lay on his bunk where he had taken to hiding from the half dressed females outside. He had his iPod on blaring KISS into his head phones. His cell was in his lap as he waited for Micha to get home from class and message him. He had a sketch pad on his lap while he tried to capture with pencils the laughter in her eyes, the fire in her hair, and the wickedness in her smile. His lip was trapped between his teeth as he worked. He could hardly believe it had been just over a week since he had seen her.

"Ashley there's something we have to talk about before I leave." She told him.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You're well… your rather renowned for your debaucherous behavior." He smiled it was to easy for him to forget that she was such a nerd when she stood in front of him dressed like an outcast.

"It bothers you?"

"Well… I mean… I love you how you are, licentiousness and all but I really don't want to share you."

"I swear that I'm not going to cheat on you Love."

"It's not your intent I am concerned for." She made a nervous gesture as if she was pushing up non existent glasses.

"Then what is it?"

"You've built yourself up this lecherous life style… I'm worried it wont be as easy as you think to step back from it."

"It doesn't matter how hard it is. I can do it, for you. If it gets to hard I'll just run back to you. I have cash now, I can do stuff like that." She shook her head a small smirk playing on her lips.

"I'm worried that on top of being an alcoholic you're probably a nymphomaniac."

"Who said I'm alcoholic?" he said looking offended.

"This is a conversation we will have later, when I have more time."

"Fine. I'll stay clean and you will too. I love you how you are. I don't want you to be like all the other girls running around."

"I promise to stay nerdy and not become a slut." She said with a perfectly straight face that made him laugh, "remember I love you and your lasciviousness just save it for me. Don't change who you are. You're a deviant and a bad boy and well I'll let you rebel for me."

"I'll see you as soon as I can." Ash said pulling her into his arms.

"I'll miss you."

"It wont be long at all…" he said knowing it was going to feel like a very, very long time.

Ashley was pulled back into the present by a pounding on the bus door. He gently set aside his picture and climbed out of his bunk. He still had a small smile on his face from his memory of Micha. He had always reveled at the little imp-like nature that lurked behind her sweet and smart exterior. He was pretty sure that was what made her so damn attractive. She was calm in his tempestuous world but she had a spark of mischievousness that made her exciting as well. He wondered what about his 'debaucherous' nature appealed to her so. He was pretty sure part of it was his veritable inability to get mad. Micha had a record for infuriating people. He was still exploring, mentally, just how deep her mischievousness might go as he answered the door.

"Ashley," there was a girl there. Damn. As the days had gone by he had seriously started putting count into Micha's theory that he might be a sex addict. His solution to the problem was avoiding women. He really wasn't sure what else he could do.

"Yea?" He said. He stared directly over her head. She was HOT. No denying it, she had huge boobs and was barely wearing any clothing.

"I was wondering if you could sign me?" She said holding out a permanent marker and gesturing towards her chest.

"Sure" he said. He felt heat race through his body as she brushed her hand, rather intentionally against his. He tried to ignore the fire in his body. The feeling that told him just how long it had been since he had had a women in his bed. He scrawled his name across her chest and shoved the marker back in her hand. He needed to get away from her and her fake boobs. He repressed a disgusted face, fake boobs were just wrong.

"Ash," she said setting a hand on his bare shoulder. He felt his breath hitch.

"Yes?" he said. He knew that normally this would have been all it took he and this girl would be screwing each other in the back but now… things were different. He had Micha. He had what he wanted. Those thoughts didn't stop the heat he felt racing through him. He was pretty sure Micha was right, he was a sex addict, and right now he must be suffering 'cravings'.

"You look lonely." She said staring at him with big, fake blue, eyes.

"I'm fine, thanks," he said his voice was tight.

"A guy like you shouldn't be lonely."

"I have a girlfriend," he said removing her hand from his shoulder with all the control he had in his body.

"She really isn't treating you right." The girl said. "If it was me. You wouldn't be alone right now. She left you all alone. She's practically begging for her spot to be filled." Ashley shook his head. That wasn't right. He couldn't stop himself from examining her. She was hot. Dammit she was. She was closing in and he was powerless to move away. He started praying for Micha's forgiveness right then.

"Ash!" Andy's voice suddenly broke through the air, just as the girl's lips met his. 'o thank you god' Ashley thought.

"Get away from me," Ashley shoved the girl back. His breath was hard and heavy. He was shaking.

"What the hell." Andy said his deep voice angry.

"I just…" the girl started. Ashley imagined Andy giving her one of his glares because he heard the sound of her hurried footsteps heading away.

"Man are you alright?" Andy said laying a hand on Ashes shoulder.

"No." Ashley said his voice was horse for some reason.

"You look like you're going through withdraw." Andy said.

"I think I am." Ash said before turning and racing into the bus. He started throwing a bunch of his shit into a bag.

"Whoa, Ash, slow the hell down." Andy said following him in.

"No man," Ash said looking at Andy like a desperate man. "I have to get out of here. I'm going to really fuck up if I stick around."

"Fine." Andy could see the desperation on his friends face. "We have a big show next Friday in Cincinnati, be there." Andy said and walked out.  
>Ash headed out of the arena like there were demons on his trail… maybe there were. All he knew was that if he didn't do something fast he was going to break his promise to Micha. He couldn't do that. Not this time.<p> 


End file.
